Sometimes I think that I talk too much, other times I think I don't talk enough. it's difficult for me to really express myself verbally because I think that it is more important to show it, but I'm learning I might not be too good at that either. I say these insane things sometimes and I have these big ideas and I know it is really hard to take me serious because half the time I don't even know how serious I am and that is what brings me here right now and that is why I am writing this to you, because it is time now that I be serious, that I really explain myself to you in nothing but clear words..or so I hope.

Let's start by talking about the odd looking boy on the right, I think that is a place to start. The odd looking kid on the right did not look as decent as he does today. Once upon a time, that kid was as skinny as a stick, that kid did not go to the gym and all he ate was crap food, the only thing that kept him from getting fat is that he played a lot of sports and also..that he had a crush. From the moment I met Krist and then saw you, I was just taken by you. I saw by the way you carried yourself that you were this brazen, confident woman who could completly crush the heart of any guy she got involved with. You had this way aboout you that just kept turning heads everywhere you went and I knew I needed to be close to you. After a certain point, I am sure that your brother wanted to punch me to get me to stop talking about you, stop asking about you. Every day I would ask him one more question, what does she like to do? What does she like to eat? Does she ever comb her hair? I hope not. I could never get you out of my head. I'm sure that a part of the reason I could never hold down a solid relationship for too long is because of you, every girl I was with could tell that they were not the only one on my mind and it was unfair to them, which is why they never really lasted. I started going to the gym soon after we left, I started eating healthier, I started being even more social, I wanted to get you to like me and see me as something beyond just your brothers friend, but I was young and I knew how unlikely that was. So the kid on the right eventually stopped trying to win his dream girl and started trying to move on with his life, and for a brief period he did do just that. But only for a brief period.

Following high school and into the real world, I started dating Olivia. My relationship with Olivia is one that I never really told anyone about because for the most part, I think we were both ashamed of what we were doing to one another. While I was with her, we did do our best to have a real, solid relationship however we were never able to define it as being offical, we were never able to call ourselves a couple and the reason for me, was the same reason for her. We could both tell that we were grasping for something with each other that we could not get with the people we wanted it with. She knew all about you, and I knew all about the guy she had feelings for and we both believed that were was no hope of anything ever progressing with the other person so we got together so we wouldn't be alone. we tried off and on for years, until finally a few months back, she ended it and she did so with the message that this time it has to be for good and when I asked her why, she told me because she knew that I had to stop hiding my feelings and I have to go after the one that I have wanted for years upon years. I knew that she was right...I had to do it, I had to take a chance...and so I did.

Now I need to talk about the girl on the left again. I have seen the girl on the left go through some heavy things, some serious issues and deep trauma that would have destroyed a weaker person and yet all it did was make her stronger. Over the past few years I have stood by and watched her take life on with gritted teeth and a smirk, everything that was thrown at her no matter how difficult she managed to get past it. Yes, she made some mistakes, yes there have been bumps along the way and yes she has fallen down but she has picked herself up every single time and she has kept moving forward. When I was younger I really did think it was just some school boy crush but how could that be when all it has done over the years, is get stronger? How could it be a school boy crush when even now she is still the only one ever on my mind? I have met a lot of people in my life and I have seen a lot of bad things and good things, but I have only ever seen one spectacular thing and that is the girl on the left...the most spectacular thing to ever be a part of my life and allow me to be a part of hers...well I want to thank her...but I also need to ask her something pretty serious now...

As you can see, the boy on the right has grown up a lot since his days as the skinny, awkward kid following you around town like a dog with a bone. He has stopped hiding his feelings and opened up to not only you, but to everyone else he has encountered. He has apologized to previous girlfriends for his inability to be real for them and he has not only managed to win over the heart of the girl on the left but he has also begun to start a family with her, the two of them have created another human being who is currently growing in her stomach..the boy on the right has finally made his high school crush dream come true an now there is really only one other thing for him to do. I know that this is probably not the best way to do this, maybe there is another more romantic manner of it, but I think that it could mean just as much in this form becuase this is something you can hang on to forever and not just a memory but actual physical evidence of the question and of the event and I find that pretty special....so with that said I have to ask...

Kennedi Caulfield, will you marry me?